devarim

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It seems that with the merger of Federated (owner of Macy's) and May (owner of Filene's), most May stores are set to be re-branded as Macy's. For most of the country this isn't a big deal, because supposedly there is little overlap in regional competition between Federated and May. But here in the Northeast, both companies' stores are all over the place...and nowhere is that clearer than at Boston's Downtown Crossing, where Macy's and Filene's sit across a heavily-pedestrian-trafficked street from each other, quietly but firmly in perpetual competition, attracting comparison shoppers and bargain hunters who pit one store against the other in an effort to get the best deals.

I can live with the loss of Filene's The Big, I think. I can come to terms with it. What I fear most, though, is the loss of Filene's Basement.

If you are not a Boston resident (and never have been), you just cannot understand the zen of Filene's Basement (the original and best). Filene's Basement is a veritable Boston institution. The store is, quite literally, in the basement of the Filene's flagship location on Washington Street at Downtown Crossing, and it is the only store in the Filene's Basement chain with the Automatic markdown pricing plan. Clothes come in by the truckload and are marked with their first discount price and the date of arrival. Two weeks later, the price automatically drops by 25%. Two weeks after that, you can take 50% off of the starting discount price. Another two weeks and it's down to 75% off. Once eight weeks have passed, the clothes (if any are left) are donated to charity. It sounds simple enough, possibly even unremarkable if you've never done it...but there is no joy like picking up a beautiful $400 sweatercoat, seeing its discount price of $120, and then flipping over the pricetag to see that it's been hanging around the store for almost two months.

*sigh*

I haven't heard word one way or another about whether the original Basement is going to be shut down or rebranded, but it will break my heart to see it go.

Update on March 8: I liked this comment to a MOChassid post so much that I wanted to make sure y'all would see it, too.

Update on March 2: This says more or less what I was trying to say, only better (though I would not endorse the boycott, if such an endoresement were still relevant). Thanks to DovBear by way of MOChassid, even though the latter thinks these reasons are silly.

-=-

Tonight Jews all over the world will be marking the eleventh Siyum HaShas, a celebration commemorating the conclusion of another cycle of learning the full Gemara (Talmud, specifically the part in the middle of each page) at the rate of one daf (two-sided page) per day. This method of learning, which usually takes place during a 45-90 minute daily class or else with listen-at-your-leisure tapes or mp3s of abotu the same duration, is called "daf yomi" (literally, "a page per day"). It takes about seven and a half years to go through one cycle at that pace, and then tomorrow the learning will start all over again.

Have you ever seen a daf of Gemara? It's dense. It's tricky. It combines Hebrew and Aramaic, uses words with ambiguous meaning, omits verbs left and right, and contains no punctuation. Even in translation, with "missing" phrases, pauses, question marks, and full stops filled in, there's a lot to grapple with. The Gemara isn't a potboiler novel; it's more like a cross between a comprehensive legal treatise and the unedited draft of a law school casebook. I don't know how anyone can get through a daf in an hour and come away with much of value, and to do it everyday is just begging for mental overload. What sinks in?

I recognize the benefits of the daf yomi cycle. It gives people an attainable goal to work towards. It promotes familiarity with gemara in general. It encourages regular learning and it allows individuals at all skill levels to learn together, even if they come away with different degrees of insight. Still, I can't help but think of it as anything besides Gemara Lite at best and a waste of time at worst.

Seven hours a week...wouldn't many daf yomi adherents be better off setting themselves up with a study partner for one weekly two-hour session and really delving into the text, and then reserving the other time for family concerns? The commuters who do daf yomi on the train...couldn't they benefit from in-depth explorations of the laws surrounding business practice or lashon hara (gossip/evil talk)? The high-schoolers so eager to join the crowd...perhaps they should develop a stronger education in Nach (prophets and writings), and certainly they could do well to improve their gemara-learning skills before trying to rush through all of Shas before they can legally buy a beer to celebrate the accomplishment.

It's not pitched as the be all and end all of learning, but unfortunately more than a few people doing daf yomi come away from it thinking that knowing a little of everything makes them an expert in anything. What a disservice to education, and what a shameful reflection of our attitudes toward the real experts.

So, go to a siyum tonight, if you want. Wake up an hour earlier tomorrow, open a Masechet Berachot, and blast through the first daf before Shacharit. Tick off the pages and countdown to your next big party (August 2, 2012, if my calculations are correct, just a few scant days after Tisha B'Av). Just don't expect me to join you.

How to win friends and influence people by destroying the Earth. Nifty.

(Clued in by Ari B.)

Another new (internet-only) trailer for H2G2 is out. It's classic in the tradition of this year's Kinko's Superbowl commercial (though I'm inclined to give more credit to the H2G2 geniuses, since the whole concept fits right in with the trilogy to being with). I'm drooling with anticipation, and somewhat relieved to discover that I was wrong about the release date (it's coming out during the last days of Passover, not the first). Locals (you know who you are), do you think we can swing Sunday night or do you want to wait until Monday?

(Thanks again to Ari B. for the heads-up.)

Please allow me to point your attention to this bit from OOSJ (on Judaism of the mind vs. Judaism of the personality), and my comments thereto.

Also (sort of related to these two posts of mine, and their comments) I came across this relevant discussion (read the comments there as well) on Bloghead.

If you're as anal as I am when it comes to menu-planning, it is generally a bad idea to invite people for Shabbat lunch over email, because they never write back, and you can't really call them until forty-eight hours have elapsed from the initial email. At this point, we're looking at a meal of as few as three people or as many as eleven...

(I hope Alisha likes leftovers.)

Thanks in part to a conversation with roommate-of-Ari B. (who shall remain unnamed until and unless he gives me permission to use his name), I've decided that I need to work at least daily one Amidah into my (quite sparse) tefillah plan. At the moment, on Sunday through Friday mornings I daven: asher yotzar (because I almost always forget throughout the day); birchot hatorah (and accompanying passages); elohai neshama; the fifteen blessings from birchot hashachar*; and the three paragraphs of shema. Friday nights I usually do kaballat Shabbat and ma'ariv, though if I am going to shul and show up late I will join up with kaballat shabbat wherever they are in it rather than starting from the beginning myself, since (as far as I'm concerned) a big part of that portion of davening is to welcome Shabbat with joy, and I'm not feeling very joyful if I speed through some tehillim while everyone around me is singing lecha dodi. So. Shabbat mornings I am almost always in shul in time for the start of davening (and if I'm late I'll play catch-up). We've been trying to make it back for mincha and ma'ariv, but if we don't I also don't bother saying those at home.

Anyway, I feel like it's time to add a bit more to my daily tefillah. Yes, I know that I should be saying more already, and I'm really not in a place to contemplate wearing tzitzit** (not required of me as a woman) when I don't even say Shema twice per day or daven shacharit and mincha (all arguably obligatory for me), but I also am of the opinion that there's no use in taking it all on at once since it would likely result in my coming to resent the practice altogether.***

I suppose the most logical solution is to add in the morning amidah, along with the few lead-in paragraphs (after the shema), both of which I probably should be saying anyway. Problem: I'm late enough as it is in the mornings, and while I could (and maybe even should) give up my fifteen minutes or so of early-morning email-checking and blog-reading in favor of a little more God-speak, I don't want to. The other problem is that I feel weird enough as it is davening only part of shacharit and I'm not sure that adding another part (rather than going whole-hog) is the way to go.

The next most logical solution is to daven mincha. It's short, and I'm probably obligated to do it. Problem: at this time of year I'm not always back from work early enough to say mincha at home, and I certainly would not be in the winter. I'm not going to start davening Mincha at work. At least, I'm not in the right mindset to say now that I could do that, so this is not the best time to start the mincha thing, even if the days are getting longer.

That leaves ma'ariv, which ironically seems like the least time-bound of all of these yet is the only one (to my knowledge) that women are definitely not obligated to daven. In my mind, this is the one I can say more or less at my leisure, since my evening schedule is the most flexible part of my day. The added perk of ma'ariv is that I get in another shema, and this time around I'd probably actually say the prefatory brachot as well. I don't think I could commit to not eating dinner until after ma'ariv, especially in the summer. Is that a requirement? This also goes back to the tzitzit problem...shouldn't I be doing the obligatory tefillah instead?

Suggestions, thoughts, experiences, and input of any kind are welcome.

* A related post about the second, third, and fouth brachot is coming soon.

*** This is why my observance of tzniut (modesty) in dress, particularly kisui rosh (hair covering) is currently not on par with the objective halachic requirement. Even to get to this point was a slow build-up, and I have not at any time made any commitment to myself or anyone else to progress more than one step (I define "step") past where I am at any given time. If two years ago I had decided on the spot to go from shorts and tank tops to long (no-slit) skirts, long sleeves, high nicklines, and wigs or snoods, I'd probably go into full rebellion mode within a month. For the record, my current "boundaries" are: no shorts; no skirts that are more than one inch above my knees when standing (and I only have one of those; the rest hit at least the middle of my kneecap); nothing sleeveless; nothing that shows cleavage when I am not leaning over (and I try to avoid loose tops that would show more than intended when I do lean over); hair covered at least with a beret whenever I am not at home (and not in another private home where I know no men are present). The hair covering during job interviews is still an issue, but this footnote is already getting far too long, and naomi chana is going to get miffed because only she is allowed to put the interesting diversions into footnotes.

I only just noticed that Blogspot comments have a third option now. In addition to posting under your registered Blogger identity and posting anonymously, you can post as "Other" and fill in your name and real URL. The only downside, as far as I can tell, is that you can't delete your comments after posting them. I'm pretty sure the feature's been around for a few weeks already (if not months), but I only bothered to look into this "Other" business today. Referrals should make more sense now, and I guess there's no need for this anymore.

Mishenichnas Adar, marbim b'simcha!

(via email):

Mayyim Hayyim invites you to: The Mikveh Monologues
an original play by Anita Diamant starring Annette Miller from Golda’s Balcony

Sunday, March 20, 2005
3:00 p.m. Chocolate & Champagne Reception and Silent Auction
4:00 p.m. Performance

Temple Emanuel, 385 Ward Street, Newton

Honoring Mayyim Hayyim’s founders:
Paula Brody, Anita Diamant, Roz Garber, Judy Greene, Rabbi Barbara Penzner, and Diane Troderman

General Admission: $72 or $36.
Subsidized tickets for seniors and students are available for $18.
Buy Your Tickets Now

Temple Emanuel is handicapped-accessible.
Call 617-244-1836 ext. 210 for more information, or to volunteer that day.

Anyone reading now...please say tehillim or daven for the health of _____. For reasons of privacy, I can't really tell you for whom you are davening, but I'm sure if you tell God that Shanna asked you to do it, S/He will direct the kavana (intention) appropriately.

the Eyes of Marge

(yes, I know I missed pi-day...sorry)

Apparently Mayim Rabim (a/k/a "The Project") got a plug in the Forward (free registration required), and I didn't even know about it. From an article on Anita Diamant's Mikveh Monologues:

In recent years there have been a range of published texts on the subject, the more popular being "Total Immersion: A Mikvah Anthology," edited by Rivkah Slonim, and "Women and Water: Menstruation in Jewish Life and Law," edited by Rahel Wasserfall. There's even a mikveh blog of sorts on the Web at www.mayimrabim.com, allowing women worldwide to send articles and thoughts on ritual, religion, feminism and water.

I really, really wish they had contacted me first, but I'd rather have the publicity than not have it!

Shira Salamone has posted her reaction to Fluffy's tzitzit post (which I reference here). Interesting discussions in the comments (on both of those).

I'm still trying to figure out why my alarm didn't go off this morning. Maybe my clock knew it's Evacuation Day and the Suffolk County courts are officially closed. No matter...I'm at work today (can we say, "comp day," class?) and even arrived more or less on time.

It was amazing walking into the building this morning, with almost no one here. The center of the building is open from the second floor up through the next four levels (some of which are double-high) to the glass peaked roof, and almost nobody was milling around the stairs or leaning over the railings, papers in hand or lawyer by the side. I looked in every direction and saw the potential of justice...the fresh anticipation of a world ready to be made right, unsullied by the reality of ill intentions and inevitable broken hearts. The space was open, open, open to sunlight and the public, though both would be speaking today only to the idealized audience of a perfect tribunal. It was almost enough to stir up a childish urge to skip across the atrium calling out "Hellooooo!" at the top of my lungs just to hear the echo. Almost.

I unbuttoned my coat and continued up the stairs, passed through the doors to my court's administrative area, sat down at my desk, and realized that I'm wearing green.

There are four mitzvot (commandments) associated with Purim, which occurs next Thursday night/Friday. We are supposed to: hear or read Megillat Esther; eat a celebratory meal; send gifts of food to friends; and give charity to the poor. Alisha has a wonderful way to help you fulfill the spirit of the third and fourth items on that list:*

[The Terror Victims Association/Almagor] helps victims and their families...was founded by and continues to be largely supported by the efforts of victims and their families....For Purim, TVA is sending mishlochei manot to families in their care. They have produced very nice cards which, upon sponsorship of one such basket ($20), one may send to a friend in lieu of or in addition to actual mishloach manot.

* This sentence originally read: "Alisha has a wonderful way to help you fulfill the fourth mitzvah on that list while also acting in the spirit of the third." Based on the comments, I felt the need to correct my original post.

Even though your gift results in mishloach manot being sent to a family, I'm not 100% sure it fulfills both mitzvot simultaneously, or either one at all. Yes, that makes the title of this post misleading. Sue me. I believe we've already established (in the comments) that this does not fulfill the fourth mitzvah. Now, does anyone know if this fulfills the third mitzvah (mishloach manot)?

This is an interesting post by Zman Biur about women's roles in communal davening, including aliyot. I suggest that you read his earlier posts on the topic as well, to which he links from that post. To say nothing of these two discussions on Bloghead, OOSJ's announcement about the new WTG in Kfar Saba, or this discussion (comments still open!) here on devarim.

This looks like it could grow into something interesting.

Today would have been my mother's [number omitted]th birthday. Much love, and I miss you.

In other news, I went to this today. More on that tomorrow, I think. I'm too tired to write comprehensively or coherently at the moment, but I have a lot to say.

Update (Tuesday evening March 22): Please see this addition to the footnotes.

-=-

Yesterday I went to the Mayyim Hayyim Spring Benefit, where we saw the premiere of The Mikvah Monologues. The play is a work-in-progress by Anita Diamant, similar in concept to Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues. A group of actors (in this staging, five women and two men) take turns approaching a central microphone to relate stories to the audience, with occasional help from stage mucisians or conversations with other actors.

As presented yesterday, The Mikveh Monologues focuses on the non-Orthodox perspective on the use of mikvah (my preferred spelling; I apologize for the inconsistency) and drew primarily from interviews and discussions with people who had used Mayyim Hayyim.* The play included tales of various uses of mikvah unrelated to taharat hamishpacha or conversion, which are the only times that tevila (immersion) is required according to halacha, to the best of my knowledge. The characters included: a lesbian trying to immerse before her wedding (same-sex marriages were first performed in Massachusetts on May 17, 2004); a man who regularly immerses with his son erev Shabbat; several converts (both male and female); a woman who designed a mikvah ritual to mark the end of her chemotherapy treatment after a battle with breast cancer; an intermittent observer of T"H immersing during her ninth month of pregnancy (considered a segula for an easy birth and a healthy child, as well as a fortuitous time to pray for infertile women); a retired congregational rabbi whose immersion before Rosh Hashana helped him reconnect with his spirituality; and a woman who immersed in a lake prior to her wedding surrounded by her female relatives and the members of her college Rosh Chodesh group, a total of over two dozen women.

Generally speaking, I think the existence of this play is a good thing. Obviously, I am in favor of open discussion about T"H, and I think it's important to talk about all of the related issues, including non-T"H-related contexts for mikvah use. I also recognize that the intended audience for both this play and for Mayyim Hayyim's activities in general is decidedly non-Orthodox; I saw only one other woman at the event covering her hair for the mitzvah of kisui rosh, but plenty of women there were wearing kipot. It would be unreasonable if the play did not address the unique concerns of Jews outside of Orthodoxy who are trying to own a practice that, by the nature of its observance (the requirement of a kosher mikvah), often exists squarely within the control of the (perceived) Orthodox monolith.

For all of that, though, I don't think that the play's portrayal of Orthodoxy in general, and Orthodox mikva'ot in particular, was particularly kind or even appropriate. There were numerous references to unsatisfying experiences at "the local Othodox mikvah" (including an out-and-out refusal by an attendant at this mikvah to schedule an appointment for the aforementioned lesbian) that were then contrasted with spiritually satisfying immersions at Mayyim Hayyim. I know some of the attendants at this local mikvah**, and I have been there numerous times in my married life. I have spoken to several of the attendants (one at great length) about their training and interactions with users of the mikvah. As far as I can tell, it is their policy not to inquire as to a person's reasons for using the mikvah, and not to turn away anyone without very good reason. (Personally, I wouldn't turn away anyone at all, since the purpose of any given tevila has no effect on the kashrut of the mikvah itself. I don't know what reasons are considered worth turning someone away for, but I'm fairly certain there are women who use Daughters of Israel who do not keep the seven white days, or who do not do bedikot at all. I also walked in there without my wedding ring the first few times I went, and I wasn't "dressing the part" and din't know the attendant on duty, but no one ever batted an eyelash.)

So what did they say about this unnamed "Orthodox mikvah" that bothered me so much? Well, there was the woman immersing in her ninth month of pregnancy who complained that the attendant at the mikvah reminded her that her tevila was not a mitzvah, that such immersions are done in the hopes of having a healthy birth and child and for the sake of praying for others' infertility, and that she should keep on her nail polish and rings as a reminder thereof...only, in the play, the character was terribly offended and felt that the experience was spiritually cheapened. Um...because the attendant reminded you that it wasn't a mitzvah? Because she didn't want you to forget and say a bracha and take God's name in vain? That offended you?

Or there was the woman who wanted to immerse prior to her (same-sex) marriage. She called to make an appointment "for any time in the next two weeks." The actor playing the role of the attendant put on an accent somewhere between Yiddische Mame and Long Island Socialite, complete with hand-wringing and a gratuitous "oy." She chastised the caller and sought to instruct her in the proper way to go about things, and then nearly plotzed. (sorry, I had to say it) when the caller said she was a lesbian. Before telling her that her kind couldn't immerse here, of course. Like I said, I know quite a few of the attendants at Daughters of Israel, and I can't picture any of them reacting that way. Because, you know, none of them have ever met a lesbian before. And, even if the ultimate result would have been turning this woman away, I'm certain that whoever was on the phone would have been far more polite and understanding...and if she wasn't, I'd like to meet her myself and knock some sense into her. Either way, I don't appreciate Ms. Diamant painting us all with such a wide brush dipped into such dark paint.

I was disappointed at the lack of voices from the Orthodox/observant community. The closest approximation was a character who desceibed herself as observing T"H intermittently during her marriage, saying essentially: "Why not? We keep kosher and restrict our activities on Shabbat, too." The character in question described restrictions on Shabbat as a way of sanctifying time, and niddah restrictions as a way of sanctifying sex. So far, so good. I'm starting to like this character.>*** So we have a woman who could probably be described as shomeret mitzvot, great. She chooses to go to Mayyim Hayyim when she is ready to immerse for the first time after the birth of her daughter. Eight months after the birth of her daughter. Look, lady, if you still can't get a hefsek eight months after childbirth, you should be talking to a gyncologist, because you have some serious bleeding problems. Eight weeks, more likely. Eight months is fairly accurate timing for your second immersion after childbirth, if you are no longer "nursing clean," and that is probably what was meant here. I'm fairly confident (though obviously not sure) that this was not a misreading by the actor. Instead, it was probably an oversight on the part of Ms. Diamant, which was not caught by anyone else who read the play before production. The one conceivably Orthodox character, and they make a mistake like this? Sloppy. Not conducive to cross-denominational support.

So what? Maybe they don't want my support. Well, too bad...they're going to get it anyway. I will not bear witness to the division of the Jewish community at large, not without putting up a good fight. I believe that The Mikveh Monologues, when completed, could be something truly wonderful and powerful. I believe that Mayyim Hayyim can be a true community resource, a strong focal point for the entire Jewish community. We're not going to get there by hating on each other, though; we're not going to build it only through forces of reaction. I want to reach out to you...I want to be a part of your world and invite you to be a part of mine. We have so much common ground. Please, let's explore together.

-=-

* Mayyim Hayyim Living Waters Community Mikveh is a new, non-denominational mikvah in Newton, MA. It opened approximately ten months ago (after years of planning) and is the brainchild of Anita Diamant, Rabbi Barbara Penzner, Dr. Paula Brody, Judy Greene, and Roz Garber. As far as I know at this time, there is no reason to think that the mikvah is not fit for use, but no Orthodox rabbi has publically endorsed it. There are serious political implications for whoever first steps forward from the Orthodox community to declare that Mayyim Hayyim is kosher, so I understand the trepidations. However, there is also much to be gained making such an endorsement, in both the immediate future and in the long term. If you are in a position to help bridge the divide between the Boston-are Orthodox community and the Jewish community at large, or if you have the ear of someone who is in such a position, I strongly encourage you to do whatever you can to: (1) ascertain the kashrut of the mikvah; (2) share your findings openly; and (3) reach out to the community on both sides to promote a sense of understanding and acceptance.

Update (March 22): Upon further research, I have elected not to begin using Mayyim Hayyim for myself. I am happy to discuss my reasons for this privately via email or phone. If I learn anything new that makes me change my mind (either to begin using it or to share my reasoning publicly), I will post further updates. In the meantime, I still strongly encourage all members of the community (from all denominations) to contact their community leaders and the board of Mayyim Hayyim to request that this mikvah be operated under parallel hashgacha (religious supervision) and made to be kosher for use by all members of the community.

*** My memory is fuzzy, but this may have been the same character as the one who talked about immersing in her ninth month. Actually, upon further reflection, I'm pretty sure it was.

On Ta'anit Esther, we are being encouraged to daven for agunot (literally "chained women"), for their release from the chains of broken marriages and for their spiritual and emotiona healing. You can read about JOFA's recent awareness ad here and find R' Tendler's prayer for agunot here.

Have an easy and meaningful fast.

Um, God? You're supposed to do the Purim shpiel tomorrow!

Gold star to the first person to name the song I'm channeling without resorting to a search engine...
...and persephone gets the

Update: The Renegade Rebbetzin just posted about a new blog called Shomer Negiah.

-=-

This post on Bloghead reminded me that I've been meaning for quite some time to talk about the whole shomer negiah issue.* For the uninitiated/unaware, the brief explanation is that the rules of negiah prohibit physical contact with a member of the opposite sex other than one's spouse, parent, sibling, or child,** because such contact could be sexually arousing and would lead to premarital sex. Which is forbidden for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it would generally involve intercourse with a woman who is niddah, the punishment for which is said to be karet (spiritual excision).***

[omitted here: rambly paragraph explaining negiah further; I give up]

I'm not about to advocate premarital sex among otherwise observant Jewish singles in their 20s and 30s. I'm not going to condemn it, either...not exactly. I do think it's a problem when people feel the need to sneak around about premarital sexual contact, when a guy tells his friends and family that he is shomer negiah, but his girlfriend knows otherwise. Is it really better for him to lie like this?

What about the couples who, so overcome by hormones (a normal, natural part of life), rush into marriage so that they can have sex, only to be locked into incompatible relationships later in life because they didn't take the time to work through so many other important issues while they were dating?

Or, on the other hand, what about the couples who do discuss all of those other issues, but who are so overcome by shyness and a culturally-imposed sense of shame about sexual activity that they never bother to talk about sexual compatibility? How can they, even, if neither of them knows from firsthand experience what a good (or bad) kiss feels like? Sex is not a sin. Sex is not dirty. Pardon me for pulling out the tired line from many a USY event, but sex is a mitzvah. Married couples are supposed to grow close through sexual activity. They are supposed to enjoy it. They are supposed to bring each other pleasure. How the hell are they supposed to do that if they can't even think about it without blushing?

Hmmm...more topics there than I thought I'd have at first. I'm going to leave it as is; I do enough editing at my day job. Pitch in your thoughts and let's see where this goes.

-=-

* I do recognize that not all of my readers are observant Jews. Please accept my apologies for the Judaism-heavy slant of many of my recent posts. Please believe me when I say that I do think about other things, it's just that I can't talk about anything political on this blog, and lately it seems like everything is political. I hope to balance it all out soon.

*** OK, at this point, I think I'm going to stop trying to explain things. If you're lost, use Google. Er, please. Also, do not be discouraged from sticking your nose in here and posting a question or comment.

This is very important: There is an error in the standard Daf Yomi calendar. In order to make sure you are in the right place for 14 Adar, please be sure to learn this.

I don't really want to go into details at the moment, but yesterday I was thoroughly invigorated by a discussion regarding women's roles in our community. This took place during/after a women's and girls' Shushan Purim learning "event" in a community member's home. There are promises of good things to come, I think, but in the meantime I think I've been signed up to lein one chapter of Shir Hashirim (a/k/a the Song of Solomon) at a women's Megillah "study group" during Pesach next month. *gulp*

Remember that inspirational conversation I had toward the end of Shabbat? I was supposed to make a follow-up phone call to someone about it last night at about 8:00. We went out to dinner at 7:15, which should have been fine. We saw a couple of friends walk in a few minutes later, and invited them to join us at our table. Still fine, and now a little more fun. We ended up sitting and chatting until 9:00, when the staff pretty much heaved us out onto the street bodily (stuff closes up early around here). From there we went back to our friend's place, where we watched Spike Jonze music videos for about an hour and a half. Drove someone back to Cambridge, came home at 11:15-ish, fell asleep.

Note what I did not do last night.

I feel so very childish and irresponsible. I sent a very apologetic email this morning. I hope that helps.

RenReb put up an excellent dissertation (she calls it a rant, don't believe her) about the universalization of Christian holidays (such as celebrating Valentine's Day in school, or her husband being wished a Happy Easter when it's known that he is a rabbi). I highly recommend that you read it.

On a related note, now is probably a good time to voice my two cents on the topic. (Stop me if you've heard this one before...I know I've been saying it for years.) When December rolls around, I would much rather exchange "Merry Christmas" greetings than "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays," particularly when people think these "Holidays" extend from late November through early January. I'll grant you that many people celebrate January 1 as "New Year's Day," so maybe you can call that a secular holiday...except that it's eight days after Christmas (a/k/a Jesus' birthday observed) and, as such, developed as an important day because it supposedly marks his circumcision. Perhaps then we should all have lox and bagels on the morning of January 1, but I'm usually busy being in birthday recovery mode. The only holiday I celebrate around December is Chanukah, and most years (2005 is an exception) that's over before we hit Christmas.

Oh, and what about all the other people in this society who celebrate neither Christmas nor Chanukah? Islam has a purely lunar calendar, so a holiday that falls in December one year is likely to be in November by two years later and October a couple of years after that. Pagans observing Yule generally celebrate that on December 20 or 21 (the winter solstice), which is a few days before Christmas, last time I checked. The Chinese New Year isn't until late January or February. I have no idea what the Buddhists do, or pretty much anyone else for that matter. What I do know is that many, if not most, religions and cultures have their primary observances at times other than the fuzzy time around December. Trying to be inclusive and multi-cultural by wishing everyone "Happy Holidays" during Fuzzy December serves only to (1) gloss over other religions' holy and festive seasons that occur at other times of the year; while (2) cheapening the Christian-specific religious significance of Christmas.

I have more to say, but I'll wait to see if y'all lynch me in the comments first.

Many thanks to everyone who directed prayers and good wishes in the direction of my friend. Thank God, all problematic growths were removed without incident, and the biopsies thereof came back clear.

[Yes, I removed the identity of the person in question. I decided that even though everything is okay, it was still too much of an invasion of hir privacy.]

I didn't want to leave up any more of Amshi's darling commentary, particularly what he had to write on this post, but I also cannot deny you all the entertainment of reading it. Plus, he "dear[ed]" me, and who can say no to that?

So, for your reading pleasure:

How about here, is it more appropriate here,no maybe here, wow there is so much ROOOOOOM here ,Oh thats because noone but shannnnna and her [vulgarity omitted] husband reads this crap.Go ahead print this I dear you.

Go ahead, Amshi. Let it all out. Tell us what you really think. I'll even let my non-sefardi husband pour you some Arack.

No, I don't knit. But pauline does, and knitchicks, the British SnB group she coordinates, was mentioned in this article in yesterday's New York Times. Wheeeeeeee!